I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
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I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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