we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
