who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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