Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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