In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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