So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
