last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize