I am puke
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the day after is always just damage control
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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