adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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