It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
should my penis look like a turkey
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
