How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
