I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
