Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
