We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
