Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
