i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
