just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
