so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
