i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
