You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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