is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
