i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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