yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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