I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
