She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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