so that wasnt chicken after all
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
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if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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