Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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