Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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