That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
