Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I party with great urgency now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
