I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
