Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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