Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize