Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
