So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
