what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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