HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
