I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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