Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
