I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
