Everything about him screamed your future.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
