There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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