He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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