Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
