4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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