well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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