My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
