And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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