Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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