i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I deserve this hangover.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
