my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
