we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
