I bet he comes in French.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
