so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
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He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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