He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize