I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
