Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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