I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
