i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He has the fingertips of a God
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
