i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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