If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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