apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize