There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
