We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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