Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
