he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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